Disconnect

Hello!

I'm gonna be straight with you and say the last week has been very rough for me. After sitting in front of the computer day-in and day-out with cataloging, I developed a bit of apathy and lethargy that really killed my creative streak. When I'm separated from my projects, or even interrupted in the midst of them, I find it very hard to get back into them. I have always been brimming with ideas but I have the greatest difficulty in completing them. So I haven't been very active on social media because I don't really have much to show currently.

I'm kinda stuck in this feeling like things aren't worth completing because no one but me has a sense of its process. For example, I had many process shots of me working on The Lonely Hydra plate. But once it shattered, not only was it tiresome to work with but I set that one aside for projects I could make faster progress with. And for me, that's still very sad. The Lonely Hydra motif is very important to me so that's why it's very hard for me to let go of it, but at the same time, it's had its run and I should put it down. For the sake of my creative health, I need to choose which ones to nourish or abandon.

It's also an issue for me when I come to know of certain deadlines, like a call of submission. I will try and see if any existing works can fit the criteria, but more often than not, I'll try to make a piece specifically for that submission. As such, I set aside all my current projects and work overtime to get it done. By the time I submit it I enter a period of rest, and when I try to get back to the projects I neglected, it's very slow. The Uke Fresco is an example of that; I have to remember what I did or what layers are which. And while all of this internal conflict is going on, new ideas come pouring in. I'll write them down and sketch them out, but by the time I actually get to them, the fire is doused.

I know it just sounds like whining at this point but I am venting out my feelings to help myself come to terms with my creative process. Art is not easy. Quarantine has just made it much more apparent of all the projects I have sitting around waiting to be completed.

I guess it's just a period I have to work through. At school, I only needed to focus on schoolwork, and sometime I'd neglect housekeeping where I lived, but it didn't really matter because it was only a place I slept during crunchtime. I practically lived at the studio so it was easier to finish things, because I would spend up to 12 hours on one thing daily. Without school, I have much more to look after, many of them non-creative things, so I'll admit that I'm having a hard time organizing it all, or dedicating as much time as I used to. Making lists helps sometimes... other times they get a bit overwhelming.

I'll work through it. Maybe the poor weather's wreaked havoc on me too, and I'll climb out of this rut very soon. After all, I managed to sit down and write for today's blogpost. I think I'll just spend today accounting all the projects I had going and decide which are priority.

Thanks for tuning in,

Gosia